As we head towards another festive season, many things are certain. We know we will go shopping, and the hours will turn into days as our charming red and white plastic bags are slowly filled with satsumas, chefs’ aprons, DVDs, bath salts, warm scarves, 2011 diaries and very readable crime novels.
We know we will hear the music of Nat King Cole, Slade and Cliff Richard around 600 times per day, pootling from every device into which is built even the most basic audio speaker. And we know we will eat chocolate, endless amounts of the stuff, and we will come to see it as a kind of substitute for tap water.
But what makes all these things more tiring than they ought is the endless backdrop of work drinks, Christmas parties, mulled wine get-togethers, book club wine tastings – seemingly every single night for a month spent drinking more than we should. It makes us weary and cynical and the high streets hard work.
Milton Crawford has recently written a book that is surely the first of its kind. The name says it all – The Hungover Cookbook – and it would be an ideal stocking filler, were it not for the fact that we need it NOW. Based around the six categories of hangover identified by Jeeves and Wooster author P.G. Wodehouse, it is a “self help manual that helps the morning after drinker identify the nature of his/her hangover and tailor the treatment accordingly”.
This includes classics such as the perfect bacon sarnie (“you should not adulterate a bacon sandwich with lettuce, tomato or mayonnaise”) and far more adventurous options like a truly marvellous knickerbocker glory with refresher sweets. Not only that, it includes a selection of questionnaires and tests to help identify exactly what kind of hangover you are suffering from and thus the best route to recovery. The only danger is getting so carried away with the perfect hangover cure that you forget about Aunt Millicent’s new duvet cover.
By M. Cosworth